Desert time?

I hurt my ankle three or for weeks ago, in China,
Location bus station in Harbin.
It was kinda stressful day, we were all carrying our back bags, mine was 18 kg.
First we took taxi to the wrong place, and I couldn't breath well,
cause we were in hurry. Stairs up and down, then going around places,
and trying to breath, but still keep on going, that I wouldn't lose others.
I kept on going, I knew in some point I can rest...
In bus station, when we finally arrived there, I didnt have power to stand anymore, I fainted. I just remember I blinked my eyes, then I was laying on the floor,
with my back bag. Two my friends, with whom we travelled that morning helped me up.
I felt so bad.

And worst feeling came from guilty. I was holding back others, that is how I felt.
I have some health issues, which came from somewhere, and I dont know reason for those (believe, I have been in hospital _MANY_ times)

But anyway,
I got my rest in bus, it was long ride, something like 12 hours if I remember correctly.
I sat alone, in the corner of bus, I wasnt very good company, so I decided to just be there by myself.

After that I realized I cannot walk normally. My foot was twisted little bit, it wasnt straight. I had to step wrong with my foot to be able to walk, cause it hurt too much.
Pain was there, but I learnt to walk in way, that it wasn't so bad.

Two weeks I walked wrong and then when I came to Finland, after few days I went to hospital. There they tied my ankle, and after that pain became worse.
I have to eat strong painkillers twice in day to avoid pain.
If I want to go somewhere, I should have someone who would give me a ride.
And I really dont like to call people all the time if I want to go somewhere...
So only for church services I have asked ride. I dont want to miss those.

Today I called to hospital for next appointment, cause my foot is worse... Today my phone was nice, I only called twice because of poor connection.

last week I missed many calls from my friends, and also one from hospital,
and for now two weeks my connection has been very unstable..
My phone works when it works. And its not easy to call operators support number, cause my phone doesnt work well. :D (and cause I use internet with my phone, using it as a modem, my internet is acting same)

I just feel trapped here :D
phone works when it wants, internet ... same,
I cannot go anywhere, cause my foot...
Finding motivation to wake up and just do something alone in my apartement is hard.

Person needs something... to have motivation for basic stuffs.
When you are alone, and just cannot go anywhere, you will feel very tired.
I could just sleep all the time.
Yes, I pray, I read bible, and some other books (about Russia of course ;) )
But I just feel I need something more, company, people, something to do.

But that is just how I feel,
I' praying that everything is going to go allright,
and I trust on God, even I feel like ... how I feel.

It just interesting, how great period I had in my life doing DTS,
I can really tell how God helped me to grow, and gave me so much new,
and I have changed in many ways.
Maybe now it is tested, what I decide to do in this situation,
I decide to go with God, and not give up.

I just know, I will need someone with whom to share all this,
and pray with...
soon I don't have power to pray :(