I open my eyes, and I see that sun is more visible now than before,
slowly light is filling my days. Something is now better, and Im glad.
What is the way, where I should go?
this question is always in my mind, and sometimes I knew answer, or I thought I knew answer for that.
It is /was simple, where God is sending me, that is the way.
but is there multiple options, and does my way change if I choose differently
OR does it lead always to same 'ending' or goal, cause God is leading me.
I mean, if I have three ways to choose, and no matter which way I choose, I end up being in that future which God has already planned for me before hand?
Or does it change?
Now I can see how God has really been there, and I understand that pieces in my life has been just right for me end up being person who I am now.
But if -for example- I choosed NOT to pray for Vladivostok DTS 1,5 years ago, and didnt apply to that school, would this situation what I have now been still the same?
Cause that school really made me think about my life a lot. my choises, my way of living. why Im alive, and ... how I... simply LIVE my life.
I understood, that I have been living a lot for others, and I many many times decided what to do based on other people opinions, and I really wanted to please people. I wanted to be good person, and I wanted to help others by being person ... that others wanted me to be. Dilemma- I CANT please everyone. its impossible, so I changed a lot. I tried to be this person for Him or her. and other person for someone else, and I was really loosing myself.
Of course during years, I have started to found "real me" but still I noticed, I lived mostly for OTHERS.
And... answer for that (or solution) is not start to live for MYSELF, cause life is not about that either.
Its living for God.
Pleasing Him.
because HE knows best !
I just thought before... that if I please people then I fulfill Gods plan. cause "love you neighbor as yourself"
- I thought... doing what other wants me to do is the best way to ... live...
during DTS I started to find a LOT about myself, that I didnt even know there is in me.
I started to LIVE more my OWN life, and Live trough my emotions, and ... well live MY OWN LIfE. simply.
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And Now Im thinking,
IF i wasnt in DTS VLADIVOSTOK... If I... well If I just have chosen differently,
would my situation been same than its now?
Or would I STILL ... live mostly for others.. and doing everything what other wants me to do...
OR would God have lead me to trough some OTHER PATH, and the ending (this situation) would still be same?
so I mean,
Would God have teach me the SAME TRUTH (I should live for God, and understand my own needs)
even I havent been in that DTS, where I really started to learn that?
Welll anyway.
its interesting question.
I think that God still wants to teach us, and make us understand more about His truth, and that we could see the world/people/ ourself trough His eyes.
And ... our way can be blessed even we didnt choose the ultimate best option for us, BUT when we choose something, we always leave that to God.
that what ever we choose. We.... let God be the one who is there . with us.
does it make sense`?
