1. Prologue
Dry, dusty soil slides through pale fingers that are searching something down below.
Fingers are softly yet firmly pushing away cold dirt, sand and little rocks, in order to reveal something.
Slightly cold wind from above tries to make it harder, though having not much effect.
Tirelessly and in steady pace work continues in almost pure darkness, only having some otherworldly glowing light source around those working fingers. Glowing light is mainly stable, only slightly moving, when those fingers are going further below the ground, like showing the way.
to search. Sun has gone down long time ago, and it feels like it could start snowing soon, air feels little moist, and temperature is getting colder. Those fingers are still working, after minutes become hours. Lightsource is not any more visible to outsiders, unless one would stand straight above the spot, where those fingers started to dig deeper. The size could be described as an opening of a little cave, and it must be at least meter deep and looks wide enough to fit at least the owner of those fingers to fit in. Only sound that could be heard is the heavy breathing, coming inside of what is starting to look like more and more like a grave of some kind, and steady noise of the dirt be pushed and thrown away from the hole, without using of any tools. Small pieces of dirt and sometimes little rocks are coming out from the pit, one by one, and work is admirably patiently done. There is clear vision of what those fingers are searching, but they are not forcing or rushing the work.
Time feels like it's almost non-existent at that point, since nothing really is happening or seen around that hole. That little spot has become the whole world and nothing else matters.
Fingers are feeling something changing in the soil, when reaching certain depth. Texture is softening, and not so cold like in the surface level. Rocks are getting smaller and smaller and ground feels smoother and clayish. It feels heavier, but easier to dig. Glowing light starts to gently vibrate around fingers and is slowly growing so that it enlightens parts of the body inside the hole.
Hands are taking away small coops of smooth soil when something moves under it.
Fingers pause for a few seconds, and then continues doing the work, more and more in the style of an archaeologist who precisely takes smallest amount of soil in the caves so no damage would come to the hidden treasure. Fingers are making few more brush like movements and something is revealing and has barely visible movement. Something that looks like a skeleton fingertip facing upwards, and little by little is seen that it belongs to skeleton hand, full set of fingers, one of them, index finger, reaching upwards, the one, which was seen first. Now the digger is moving enough away, so their own body wouldn't be away, when trying to find how much of a skeleton is under there.
Before getting the work done, there is clearly planned moment of stillness, and steady working pace of digging is shortly having a break. Light glow is getting more warmer and focusing on the area, where that skeleton finger, hand, and probably arm under the soil is laying down. Fingers has started a new mission and is going to touch gently that little skeleton hand. The index finger, of that small hand tries to go upward, but is stuck, so it kind of just shakes in really small movements from side to side, like slow motion movement of person's hand who is drowning, can't reach up, but does some movement that indicates the imminent need of aid. No one could have seen though this, slow motion skeleton hand and fingers moving six feet under. No one, but her, who knew exactly what she was doing, and where she needs to search that helpless creature of some kind.
2. Kingdom of the broken ones – girl in yellow –
In the Kingdom of the broken ones there was once this little girl in a yellow dress and pink shoes, and it was said of her, that whenever she comes to the room, it feels like sun was shining. Her smile was so genuine and pure, and her joy was overtaking the atmosphere of any situation, where it was suitable. She didn't hide her pain either, and when she cried, and was sad, she wasn't ashamed, but showed her real self, and vulnerability openly.
When she grew little older and started to speak and do more grown-up things like learning new skills needed to be done in the Kingdom, those around her didn't anymore understand her genuine childlike honesty and started to avoid her presence.
She couldn't understand why suddenly everyone of her age started to appreciate more lurking in the shadows, badmouthing others and didn't anymore appreciate the little joys the Kingdom has to offer! -- Colourful butterflies flying here and there, the smell of the grass and ground after rain, those little puddles of joyful water flowing towards bigger streams and eventually to the lakes and oceans, where so many weird and fascinating creatures are hidden. The rainbow shining on the sky and all wonderful trees in the forest, bees and honey, little lambs and bunnies--
She could just feel that the joy of the little things in the Kingdom been pushed inside her time after time, and finally up to the point, where she herself couldn't anymore remember what it is to actually feel anymore. Learning of the ’adultier’ lifestyle was the only way of being able to survive in the Kingdom of the broken ones. Only those very little ones could be seen having joy and emotions, but she herself didn't anymore remember what that was even be like.
Time to time she could get glimpses of those childhood memories, when being alone in somewhere where no one could not see or hear her, and she could only feel totally empty and crushing sharp pain sliding through her. What was left with her was only endless tears and noiseless screams of terror
3. Land of the unliving souls
Kingdom of the broken ones has large area that is only for unliving forgotten souls, no one enters there unless they are themselves drawn through the misty forest to those lands. No one could even find where the lands of the unliving souls are located, since no one has heard to return from there, and shown the way.
The girl, who wasn't any more so little, was one day facing the destiny of many of her kind and was drawn to the land of the unliving souls after long time of suffering, pain and hopelessness. Cold and dark lands of the unliving souls are welcoming with their tight cold grip those who are not able to survive elsewhere in the Kingdom of the broken ones.
Eventually after long time of being numb and barely living, when time comes, unliving souls will face their eternal faith each of their own timing. Time feels still in that place, so it is hard to say how long one is there, before they finally leave the Kingdom for good, and no one really cares or remembers their faith anymore.
One could say, at least sorrow and pain is no longer hurting those who are in the lands of living souls. Old tales even tell the story of the land of the unliving souls that sounds really beautiful and peaceful.
” The land that is, but quite isn't, (meaning the land of the unliving souls) is place for retiring souls getting final breath and peace of mind before their eternal destiny is to be decided. The land that is, but quite isn't is somewhere no one can find, until it's their time to take the step in their destiny of the humankind in the Kingdom of the broken ones and become one with that land. The land that is, but quite isn't is part of all of our faith someday, but no one can tell when, but when the time comes for one to go there, the transition should be taken as an honour, and treat as a friend. Land that is, but quite isn't is for all of us one day.” (Chronicles of the Kingdom of the Broken ones II)
Oh, how wrong those, like many other old tales, were. There are not many who could have told the feeling for the living souls, and if anyone would oppose the stories, their words were not heard. It is easier to be oblivious of the reality, when the illusion gives more peace to one's soul.
Being buried under the burden of the suffering and cruelty of the living world would become one with the land, figuratively and literally. Unseen spirits carried lost souls through the misty forest to the wide area of nothing but cold and dark land, and crushed them deep under the soil, where they could barely breath, and their human form was slowly stripped away and those who have been longest, had only parts of their skeleton left, waiting for their eternal faith. Even their figure would be unhuman, they still had thoughts, and could time to time even feel, but only misery and pain. It wasn't peaceful retirement place for souls to wait their eternal faith. All the moments that those souls were aware of their situation and being unable to change anything, they already felt like being thrown into the eternal punishment. Time was not felt like it was in the other parts of the Kingdom, so there was no sense of when they were drawn to the place, nor could know when it would end. There was nothing honourable how those souls were treated like someone who is thrown away, forgotten and left alone with their sufferings.
4. Transformation
Her hand touched gently the palm of the skeleton hand, which was now visible to the wrist. Hand stopped the movement in the very moment and didn't first react any other way to this sudden and totally unexpected warm touch. She took very carefully that palm inside her hands, which were still weirdly warm, after digging the hole for uncountable measurement of time in cold and dark place. Glowing light was probably also source of warmth, not only light. When she took the dry and cold skeleton hand into her warm hugging hands, those fingers started to slowly have movement. The warmth of her hands was transferred to those cold dusty, greyish pieces of bones, and they become more alive and movable. Skeleton fingers took good grip of those hugging human fingers and let them give long forgotten human touch. Something odd was happening, when she was only holding the hand, nothing else. It was actually really ugly looking, but at the same time really fascinating and powerful. Skeleton hand was creating new tissue around the bones, ligaments were forming, veins started to appear, parts of flesh was growing around and finally layers of skin came to cover the hand and the parts of the arm that was visible. She was holding gently but firmly, not letting go of the skeleton hand while the transformation happened. She didn't have to do anything special she just was lying there holding the buried hand and didn't let it go.
5. Lost and found
When the girl was brought to the lands of the unliving souls and forgotten it felt like thousands of sticks and needles were poking through her body and all the burdens weighted her whole being, inside out. When she was thrown down and pushed through the dirt and soil deep, she felt like she was scattering to little pieces, although it only felt like that, the body was made to survive that, so there would be more torturing happened when being down under.
No screams or tears formed, only inner self being crushed and during time also the outer human form started to disappear causing crucial pain.
She had been there for probably months, years, maybe a decade, when she felt the touch of a warmth first time after so long time. Her body wasn't fully changed to skeleton, she had still toes and fingers left, part of a nose and some skin in her back and left knee. Her rescuer found first her left foot, and her transformation started through her legs. The warmth felt similar like when person was rescued from icy water, like needles everywhere. It was painful, and perhaps because of that reason extremely slow process. Even something good and healing when one has been so long gone, can feel like torture. Your body, heart and soul were taking in something they almost never had got; Love and understanding, Patience and gentle touch. Process takes as long as it needs, and it varies from soul to soul, since all of those unliving souls buried in those lands had had different experiences, difficulties and they were buried there for different amount of time. But what was same for all, was lack of unconditional love.
she was able to transit back among the living ones after being rescued by someone who she described being something totally unexpected. Her rescuer wasn't a human, but it was glowing light source that felt like it belonged to some entire other Kingdom or even universe. The touch of the light though felt really humanlike, and healing happened by them hugging and holding her feet, leg, and finally her whole body, heart and soul, to eventually being one with the light, but having the light also outside her. It was like with her, for her, around her… But also felt like the light was also elsewhere at the same time, doing the exact work for others somewhere else. Omnipresent otherworldly glowing light. Her rescuer.
6 Epilogue
Holding the arm buried under her she knew that this process might take time, so she patiently waited the time passing, the skin becoming warmer when blood started to finally come to her veins and life entering back to this unliving soul.
When she knew the body underneath was fully formed and given back their human form, she could start dig little more of the soft soil with one hand and holding the buried arm with one. She didn't know exactly when everything will be finished, but she knew she was ready to be there as long as it takes, until the transformation was fully done, and the lost soul was ready to go back to the Kingdoms lands through the misty forest to the land of the living souls with her.
The one who once rescued her was also so patience and didn't let her go when it looked like she would never come back to the lands of the living souls. She also knew, that the one who rescued her, is there with her all the time, giving strength, light and warmth, so she doesn’t have to rescue anyone with her own power. Her destiny was to bring the hope to the land of the unliving souls, having eternal otherworldly glowing sunshine with her and powering her through the process.
Written 4.5.2023
May the 4th be with you
